Something Undeniably Sweet
by serendipity-smiles
Summary: What happens when miscommunication, secrets, and passion collide... Natalie and John can't fight their passion... what follows will change their lives forever!
1. In The Beginning

Chapter One- In the Beginning  
  
She didn't know why she had kissed him, she just knew that she didn't want to stop. It had been so long since she had felt passion for anything, and this kiss had awakened something in her that she had believed dead since the moment she had found out that Cristian would never be coming back to her.  
  
He knew she would regret this moment, but he couldn't make himself pull away from her. He would be lying if he said that he had never imagined this moment. But, he knew that this moment was madness, nothing could or would ever come of it.  
  
Energy and passion flew back and forth between them. Each one fighting the impulse to continue. But, neither one could stop. It may have started as one passion filled kiss in a moment of shear insanity, but it had turned into the one thing that both of them needed most.  
  
She knew that this moment, whatever happened, had changed everything. But, it was like a tiny flame that all the sudden had ignited into an unstoppable blaze. She wanted to stop... she had to stop. But, she couldn't bring herself to pull away and say the words that in her heart she knew would bring their kiss to an end.  
  
He wanted to fight. But, he was so tired of fighting. He wanted nothing more than to give into the moment. Was he crazy? Was he insane to want this one moment with this one beautiful woman? Would she regret it? He had to push away he had to stop it... but he couldn't.  
  
As if the world had completely disappeared around them they lost themselves in each other. Nothing mattered, not his work, not her grief, the only thing that mattered was the moment. With shaking hands he cupped her face and stepped away only to stare into the eyes that had haunted him from the moment he had met her. Silently she reached for the buttons that ran down the front of his shirt. One by one the popped open revealing a toned body, hard and muscular, so warm and so alive. Their eyes never leaving one another's he ran his hands down her back and lifted her body next to his. With a moan, she let herself be lifted into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist. It was the only sign he needed. He carried her to his bed never breaking contact with her. She felt so soft and smelled of some perfume that he couldn't name. Laying her down carefully he removed his shirt and joined her on the bed. She took his hands and kissed each palm, slowly she brought him down on top of her.  
  
He tried to control his breathing. His body was on fire and all he could think about was making her his. From that moment neither one could tell you what happened to their clothes, their uncertainty, or the things that would keep them from fulfillment. All sanity flew out the window to be replaced by pure passion and instinct. She didn't want to rush, but god help her she needed him. She needed this moment and this man. No matter what happened tomorrow she wanted him and she welcomed his touch.  
  
Natalie never knew what woke her, but she slowly stretched and tried to figure out where she was. Feeling a body next to her she turned and remembered the night that had passed. His hair was covering his face, and the sheet had slid to his waist. Blushes covered her from head to toe. What had happened had been amazing, but what had she been thinking. With a smile she turned on her side and stared at the man sleeping so peacefully next to her. He looked so peaceful, more rested than he had since the whole music- box killer thing had began. She didn't have the heart to wake him.  
  
"John... John... wake-up now..." John sat up in the bed and looked around him. Natalie was sleeping peacefully next to him, and he was full of contentment and that was something he hadn't felt in a long time.  
  
"Hello, John." A soft and musical voice came from across the room.  
  
"Katelyn? What... What in the..."  
  
"It's ok, John. You're not crazy. I am real. As real as a dream can get."  
  
"So, I am dreaming. But, it's so real. You are so real." Slowly getting out of bed John forgot about his state of undress, he forgot about everything, but the woman he had once loved body and soul. He didn't know what to say. Where to begin, or how to understand what was happening.  
  
"I came to let you go. To say goodbye, I guess." The smile he remembered so well was on her face, but the tears in her eyes showed a trace of sadness in them.  
  
"I know you think I am sad, but the only sadness I feel John is all the pain and emptiness you have felt for so long. I want you to listen because I have only a brief time, open your mind and your heart and you will know a peace so great, so amazing, that you will understand why I am not meant to be with you now."  
  
And with a breeze of cold air and a shimmer of light fog she vanished as if she had never been there.  
  
"Katelyn? Katelyn... no wait... don't go..."  
  
Natalie heard the words whispered so quietly that she thought she almost missed them. Her heart dropped, as she heard the desperation in his voice and it brought with it the realization that what had happened between them had been a moment of insanity, nothing more. She slid out of the bed and very quietly got dressed. Without a word she slipped out the door. The tears began to fall even before the door closed and she would be damned if she was going to analyze them.  
  
As if he sensed that he was alone, John sat up in bed. "Natalie?" Silence was the only thing that answered him.  
  
Shit! He had royally screwed up. What if she was angry? What if he had taken advantage of something he had should have left alone? That was bullshit! Rubbing his hands over his face he reached over and grabbed the pillow that the object of his thoughts had so recently occupied. Putting it next to his face he could still smell the shampoo she used, the perfume she wore. He wasn't going to let her run away from this strange thing that was between them. If she would let him into her life then just maybe she would let him into her heart. 


	2. Misunderstandings

Chapter Two- Misunderstandings  
  
John stood outside of Rodi's wondering if he was doing the right thing by trying to talk to Natalie here. So far in the last two days she had avoided every phone call and attempt he had made to talk to her. Not that he had much of a chance, between trying to keep his job with the bureau and making sure Haver stayed behind bars where he belonged he had not had much of chance to do anything.  
  
"Well, here goes nothing..." taking a deep breath he pushed opened the door. He felt like a teenager again, not knowing what to expect.  
  
Natalie knew the moment he stepped in the bar. She had put off dealing with him hoping against hope that she could just forget what had happened between them. But, as soon as she saw him and their eyes made contact she knew that forgetting the passion that seemed to flow between them would be like forgetting how to breath.  
  
"Hi... I know this isn't a good time, but I just wanted to see how you were doing..." John had no idea where to begin , so he tried to sound casual and thought that he couldn't have made a worse attempt.  
  
"Oh! I am fine. Busy. How are things going with you?" Natalie was stung by the indifference she heard in his voice. Had they destroyed a perfectly good friendship that night?  
  
"Better. I, uh, I am still trying to decide if I am going to take your Uncle Bo up on his offer and stick around at the LPD for awhile. Just waiting on the final paper work from the Bureau and getting ready for the trial. Look about the other night..." He felt at such a loss for words, which had to be a definite first.  
  
"John, look we are both adults here. It was a mistake and should never have happened... we both agree... so let's not make a big deal out of it. I mean, why mess up a good friendship right?" She tried to keep from meeting his eyes and picked up a bar towel and pretended to clean the spotless bar in between them  
  
John was so surprised at the easy dismissal of what had been an amazing and perfect night to him. Did she regret it? Looking away he tried to find the words to tell her that she was wrong that what had happened had been right between them.  
  
Natalie knew he was searching for words to tell her that she was right. He was trying to be gentle and not hurt her, but she knew how he really felt. He had been using her a substitute for Katelyn, she knew that and every time she remembered they way he had said her name after they had spent the night in each other's arms it broke her heart all over again. He stilled loved her, probably always would, just as she loved Cristian, and no one could ever take his place... right?  
  
"Natalie... what happened... it was unexpected... but.."  
  
"I really can't do this right now... let's just leave it ok. Let's leave it as easing the hurt...ok"  
  
Of course, she was hurting over Cristian. How stupid of him to think it was about him, when she was probably feeling she had betrayed the man she loved. But, he couldn't lose her over this, she was the one good thing in his chaotic life. "Whatever you want Natalie. I just don't want to lose you or our friendship over this. You mean too much to me." John reached out and took Natalie's pale slender hand into his, "Our friendship means too much to me." How perfect they fit together... shaking his head absently he pushed that thought out of his head. He couldn't afford to think like that with so much at risk.  
  
Just not enough she thought, "Friends... always." She quickly squeezed his hand and turned away so he would not see the flash of hurt in her eyes. Hoping that he wouldn't realize how close she had come to choking over the words.  
  
Letting out a sigh of relief John turned and ran his hand through his hair. He wouldn't lose her... not if he could help it, even if it meant never kissing her or holding her again.  
  
She turned to stop him before he reached the door, but something was holding her back. How did she think this was going to end anyway? They were completely wrong for each other. One night of passion did not love make... wasn't there some stupid saying that went like that? 


	3. Another Bump

Chapter Three- Another bump... REVISED (I added a twist to the story)  
  
**Ok... I am feeling an epic story here... this story may be longer than I thought at first because I am going to attempt to get super creative down the road--- serendipity  
  
"Hello... oh Jess, hey. No I just woke up. What time is it?" Natalie felt like she hadn't slept in days the sound of the phone had pulled her out of a restless sleep. Funny, she hadn't slept in days... not since that night over two weeks ago when she had woke up next to John.  
  
"Oh... what? Sorry I just... I am not quite awake yet. Yeah, I knew the arraignment was today... What? No... are you sure? John would not do that... what... no... I'll me you at LPD!" Natalie didn't wait to hear her sister say goodbye. She slammed down the phone and jumped out of bed.  
  
Whoa! Her head spun out of control. Ok, Nat slowdown, you won't do John any good passed out on the floor from being an idiot. Slowly she reached for a pair of jeans and a shirt. Not exactly ironed, but who cared about wrinkles and fashion at a time like this.  
  
Stephen Haver was dead. Someone had shot him on the way to the courthouse. Someone they were saying was John... how crazy was that!?!? John wouldn't take matters into his own hands... would he?  
  
Reporters were everywhere outside of the courthouse. Cameras flashed pictures as she ran up the stairs...  
  
Ms.. Buchanan? Do you have a comment... come on over here... these shouts came randomly from the reporters behind the barricades.  
  
Pushing through the doors Natalie went straight for her uncle's office.  
  
"Uncle Bo! What is going on? Where is John?" Natalie felt as if her heart was going to burst through her chest. "Calm down Natalie. He's in the holding cell. Nothing is clear yet, but John was seen holding a gun when Haver was shot."  
  
"You know he didn't do it Bo... you know he didn't. I have to see him." Natalie took a deep breath and tried to gather her wits around her. Being a basket case wouldn't help anyone.  
  
"Alright. But, only for a minute. I need to find out if he is going to get an attorney... you know the drill... see what he wants to do, who he wants to call, there's not much to do right now. Come on." Bo led his niece down the hallway to the holding unit.  
  
John was sitting in his cell. Could life get any worse? On the plus side Haver was dead, and that took a load of weight off of his shoulders. How he wished he had been the one to pull the trigger. But, it hadn't been him... Haver had said he would win. Was this what he had meant?  
  
"John..."  
  
He turned to see Natalie standing in front of the bars. "Natalie? What are you doing here?" "This is what friends are for right? To help each other out... you know emotional support and all that.' Natalie tried to smile, but it really hurt her to see John behind bars. Funny how once she had hated him with everything in her being, and suddenly it seemed so long ago.  
  
"You shouldn't be here. It's only a matter of time before they test my gun and know I didn't fire it. I'll be out of here soon."  
  
"Well, maybe you just needed a little company. I know you didn't do it... No one actually believes you did it."  
  
"I had the best motive, Nat. Everyone knows I hated him... damn! I wish I would've been the one to pull the trigger, but no, I didn't do it... This is all just a formality."  
  
"Look Uncle Bo wants to know if you have an attorney. Can I call someone for you?"  
  
"That won't be necessary," Bo came up and started to unlock the door, "The lab rushed the bullistics and your bullet wasn't the one that killed Haver. But, you know the routine John, I need you to stay in town be around for questioning, and you may want to think about getting an attorney."  
  
John stepped out of the cell and Natalie rushed and gave him a hug.  
  
Bo shot a glance between the two people in front of him. Had he missed something? He knew they were friends, but you would have to be blind to not see the chemistry between them.  
  
"You hungry? I mean, I know you probably would love to stick around here, but I haven't eaten yet..." Natalie smiled up at John," Plus, we need to form a stratedgy."  
  
"How can I resist? Bo? Can I go?" John knew the answer, but he didn't want to take anything for granted at this point.  
  
"Sure." Bo smiled and rubbed his chin as they walked away. I wonder if they realize that they are falling in love yet.  
  
As they walked into the lobby of the LPD, they were stopped by Jess who was pushing little Jamie in the stroller. "Hey, guys, I was waiting for Antonio to get through and we're going to the diner to get a bite to eat. You guys should come."  
  
Natalie looked over at John and shrugged, "That sounds good. What do you think?" John would have loved to tell her I want to go home and have you for dinner, but he pushed that thought to the very back part of his mind and agreed," Yeah, that sounds good. I am going to run to the hotel and grab a shower, how about I meet you there?"  
  
Before she knew it Natalie was sitting in a booth across from Antonio and Jessica watching Jamie play in her high chair.  
  
"SO what is going on with you and John? You two seem to be kind of chummy lately." Jess waggled her eyebrows in a theatrical way and playfully gave Natalie a wink.  
  
A silly grin spread across Natalie's face before she could hide it," We are just friends... nothing more, nothing less." Antonio and Jess shared a knowing smile and a for the first time in days a carefree atmosphere invaded the table. "When's he getting here anyway? How long can a shower take?"  
  
Just then the door the diner and in walked the object of their discussion. But, he wasn't alone, a tall stylish blonde walked in with him laughing playfully and smiling up into his face. Natalie was sure she didn't know her, but as her heart sank she was sure that the woman looked familiar somehow.  
  
"Hey! Sorry it took so long! I got a surprise when I got back to the hotel. Everyone this is Kathryn... she is Kaitlyn's sister. She came down... and well she's going to be visiting Llanview for a awhile." John looked a little uncomfortable introducing her to the table, but maybe it was just Natalie's over active imagination. Visions of Kaitlyn's picture came back, and Natalie knew why she recognized her. She was a little taller and her hair was straight, but she bore a striking resemblance to John's late fiancee'. A wave of nausea shot through Natalie and she almost knocked her tea over in her haste to jump up.  
  
"Kathryn... uh, nice to meet you. I was, I mean I forgot I was supposed to meet mom at Llanfair in about fifteen minutes, so I hate to run like this..."  
  
Jess shot her sister a worried look as she noticed the pale-greenish tint to Natalie's face.  
  
"Are you sure? Do you want me to go with you?" She hated the disappointed look that had crossed Nat's face when she had seen John walk in with the blonde.  
  
"No! I am fine! I mean, you guys enjoy yourselves. I'll call you later." And before anyone could say another word she was gone.  
  
John didn't even have a chance to argue. To plead, or even get a word in edgewise. He had wanted to hang out with Natalie. She had finally dropped her defenses and was starting to act normal again. If you could call whatever their relationship had become normal.  
  
"John? I didn't cause a problem did I?" Kathryn looked up at John through her long lashes and tried to sound as if she really cared that the red-head had bolted. She could've really cared less. The time had come for her to claim the man that belonged to her, and no one was going to get in her way this time.  
  
"No, it's ok Kathe, Let's eat." He would find Natalie later and ask her about her reaction. 


	4. Chapter Four Everything Changes

Chapter Four- Everything Changes  
  
**This chapter isn't too exciting, but it keeps the story going where I want it to go. Let me know if you have any suggestions... Stayed tuned for more!!!- serendipity  
  
Natalie walked into Llanfair feeling as if a truck had run over her. The nausea that had come over her at the diner a week ago had continued to stick with her and she had barely managed the drive over. Surely this stomach virus would go away. Most of it she chalked up to the tense and agonizing feeling she felt every time she saw John lately. Normally she would have enjoyed seeing him around. But, lately every where he was, there was Kathyrn. He had tried to talk to her several times, but the blonde always had some excuse ready to claim his attention. It was as if beneath her cheerful demeanor she was deliberately trying to keep John and Natalie apart. Which was ridiculous... wasn't it?  
  
"Mom? Mom, are you here?" She took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, hey Sweetie. I was just fixing some tea and a sandwich, you hungry?"  
  
"Sure... no... I don't know." Her insides felt all turned inside out and the mere mention of food, the only that sound good was years and years of quiet and sleep.  
  
"What's wrong? You aren't looking so hot." Vicki picked up her tea and walked over to Natalie concerned by the distress she saw in her daughter's eyes.  
  
Natalie was about to say she was fine when she caught a whiff of the tea and was unable to hold back the nausea this time. Running for the sink she barely made it when she proceeded to lose the entire contents of her stomach.  
  
"Oh god! Ohhhhh!" Trying to take deep breaths and praying that the uncontrollable shaking of her body would stop.  
  
"Honey! Oh my, are you ok?" Vicki grabbed a dish towel and poured some cold water on it and held it out to Natalie was slumping over the sink and trying desperately trying to control the dizziness that held her in it's grip.  
  
"Yea... I just think that I have a stomach virus or something... the stress. I am alright now." Putting the towel on her face she stood up and washed the sink out," Mom, I sorry about this. It's pretty gross."  
  
"Don't worry about that. Come on, sit down and I'll get you some water to sip. How long has this been going on?" Vicki went to get a glass and filled it with ice water. Her concern for her daughter was written clearly on her face. "I guess about a week or two. It's not big deal, I am fine."  
  
"I really think you should go to the doctor Natalie. At least go and make sure it's just a virus and not something serious."  
  
"Mom, I'll go if you go. And that is the only way." She knew then that after she and Jessica had been on Vicki's case for days about going to the doctor she finally had a way to get her there.  
  
"Ok... fine. You win, I'll call right now and see if I can get us both in." Vicki stood up, forgetting about her sandwich and tea and went to the phone," Yeah, Hi! This is Victoria Davidson. Yes, I am fine. Thanks. I need to get two appointments for myself and my daughter as soon as possible. No sooner, can that be managed? Great, we will leave right now, I really appreciate this." Hanging up the phone she walked back over to Natalie, "OK, let's go we have a date at the hospital in twenty minutes."  
  
1 ½ hour later- Llanview Hospital  
  
Natalie sat in lobby waiting for the nurse to call her back, both she and Vicki had given blood, and had some other tests run. The doctor had also had her mom have some tests done on her heart and lungs, so the wait was quite a bit longer than she had anticipated.  
  
Seeing Vicki walk down the hallway she got up and met her halfway.  
  
"Mom? What did they say?" Even though she had her own medical problems to deal with at the moment she knew that whatever turned out to be wrong with her, that Vicki's problem would most likely be more serious.  
  
"Be patient. The doctor said it would take awhile so I probably won't know anything for a few hours. Has she called you in yet?"  
  
"I was waiting for you. I know this is really silly but, I was hoping you might go in with me." Natalie felt about five-years old, but at this moment she was glad that her mother was with her.  
  
"Mrs. Vega? You can come on back now." Natalie and Vicki stood up and walked back to the exam room," Normally we would have you talk to a nurse first, but I think we can figure this out fairly easy."  
  
"Dr. Alexander, is there something wrong with me? I figured it was just stress and that it would go away in time, right?" Natalie tried to be positive, but for some reason the look on the doctor's face and the tone she had taken didn't quite sound right to her.  
  
Dr. Alexander looked from Natalie to Ms. Davidson sitting there, "Well, um, there is something "wrong" with you as a matter of fact. Are you sure you want your mother in here?"  
  
"Doctor there is nothing... and I mean NOTHING more important to me than my daughter's health. If there is something wrong with her, I would like to know." Vicki felt her chest tighten and she tried to stay calm.  
  
"It's ok. I asked my mom to be here. So go ahead... please tell me what's wrong with me?" Natalie felt her confidence start to waver. It was just stress... just some type of stomach virus right?"  
  
"Well, Ms. Vega. I don't know how to say this. But, you are going to have a baby. Based on the date of your last menstraul period I would say your about nine to ten weeks along."  
  
Both Vicki and Natalie sat there in silence, not knowing what to say or how to react. Finally as if the pressure had gotten to be too much they just looked at each other and laughed.  
  
"You can't be serious. I mean, there's no way... I... no... I'm really pregnant?" Natalie felt as if her world had spun out of control. The one night that she was trying so hard to forget, the one night that had brought her back to life, had indeed changed everything.  
  
Vicki didn't say a word. She was shocked and confused, but she knew now was not the time to say anything, but she felt Natalie would talk about it when she had absorbed everything she had just been told.  
  
They sat in the car staring at the parking lot. Not saying anything, just sitting in the running car, listening to the radio play a song.  
  
"Mom... It's John's baby. I am carrying John's baby." Tears silently fell down her face as she turned and faced Vicki in the passenger seat," You must be so disappointed in me." "Oh baby! No. I mean, this is surely not what I was expecting, but I am far from disappointed in you. A little shocked... surprised... I mean when... how... ok, stupid question. Where have I been? I didn't even realize you and John had gotten so serious." Vicki took Natalie's hand and held it. Her baby was going to be a mom.  
  
"We aren't serious... I mean it happened one night... things just happened. What am I going to do?"  
  
"Well, you have several options here. I am not sure how you feel about having this baby. But, no matter what you decide I am here for you and that is never going to change."  
  
"Mom... I know this is crazy and maybe I am crazy, but when Dr. Alexander sat there and started talking to us about vitamins and taking care of myself... all the changes... well, something about it just felt right. I just feel that this baby is meant to be." Wiping the tears from her cheeks she tried to smile, but didn't quite succeed.  
  
"So... these tears... are tears of joy?" Vicki was trying so hard to be patient, but she just knew there was something she was missing here. "No... I mean... yes... I am not quite ecstatic yet... I mean... how am I going to tell John? Oh Hi John! Things are great... by the way you are going to be a father... Congrats!" A fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes and laughter shook her body.  
  
"I must be nuts, I mean here I am laughing, crying and I don't know what in the hell I am going to do."  
  
"Give it time sweetheart. Just give yourself time to get used to this... ok... why don't you come back to the house with me. Well make some tea... ok... no tea... umm well eat some ice cream and veg out in front of the television or something..." Vicki gave Natalie a hopeful smile.  
  
"That sounds great... but, I think I am going to take you home, and then I am going to go home, take a hot bath, and try and relax... I just need some time to think about all this... can I take a rain check?" Natalie started the car and headed back to Llanfair. Time... well, she had less than nine months to figure out just how she was going to tell the other people in her life that she was carrying John McBain's child. 


	5. The Journey Begins

Chapter Five- The Journey Begins  
  
*Before I go any further let me just say that I have not been blessed with children yet, so my details are done with what little research I have time for and the pregnancies of family members and friends... so please bare with me... and as with all soap stories it might happen a little faster (or at least seem like it) because I have no concept of time ... thanks for being patient... and keep the reviews coming ~ serendipity  
  
"John we need to talk...I am pregnant....no... John, guess what? You're gonna be a daddy? God, there has to be an easier way... John...ahhhh!" Natalie sat looking into her mirror. Every phrase she tried, every conversation she could imagine had crossed through her mind in the last twenty-four hours. But, nothing sounded right. Being straight-forward sounded too bland, too normal for the fantastic situation she was in.  
  
There was just no easy way to tell him that she was pregnant. At least none that didn't make her feel the need for a quick getaway. She had stayed up almost all night last night going through every emotion- first came disbelief, then shear panic, and then just before she drifted to sleep with her hands covering the life that had just begun. A sense of peace and joy crept through her and at that moment she knew that having this child was the right thing to do beyond a shadow of a doubt. Whether John wanted to share this with her or not , she was going to love her baby, and never feel alone and empty ever again.  
  
Sitting there reflecting the revelation she had made last night, Natalie was surprised that all the nervousness she had felt had suddenly disappeared. Looking down at her still flat abdomen she decided to have her first mother-child chat, "Hey little one! I don't know if you are boy or a girl. Whether or not you'll have my eyes or his, but I do know that you will have all the love in the world. I can't promise you that I am going to be a perfect mom... and that I won't make mistakes. But, I do promise with all my heart that even if your daddy isn't around that you will never lack for love in your life. I am going to start right now by doing everything in my power to make sure your daddy has a chance to get to know you and love you as I already do."  
  
Natalie picked up the phone and dialed, "Hello! Oh... voice mail... John, hey this is Natalie. I was hoping you might get a chance to come by Rodi's and talk. I'll be there... talk to you later."  
  
Sweeping her hair up into a ponytail she started to put on her make-up, it would be hours before she had to go to work, but she would go by and check on her mom.  
  
Across town John sat at his desk. His thoughts were far from the work that was piled in front of him and a dull ache had taken up residence in his head. All he wanted to do was forget that Stephen Haver had ever existed, but at every turn something from that lunatic kept popping up. What he really wanted to do was talk to Natalie. She had been treating him like the plague ever since Kathryn's arrival. He had attempted to talk to her several times, but they just never seemed to catch a moment alone. What exactly he wanted to say to her he didn't know. He did know that he missed her. He missed her wise-cracks, her smile, the way she just knew she was always right, and most of all he just missed being around her period, but that didn't change anything as much as he wished it would.  
  
Suddenly his phone beeped and brought him back to reality. It was his voicemail... when had he missed it? Playing back the message a smile crossed his face... She had called and she wanted to talk... nothing could stop him from making that appointment.  
  
Her trip to Llanfair had defintiley cheered her up. Vicki was actually pleased that Natalie had defintiely decided to keep the baby and they laughed and talked about the many antics of the Buchanan children growing up. It was when Vicki took her hand and expressed her deep regret for missing Natalie's first step, first tooth, and so many other memories that they both shared a few tears. This baby would make up for so much that they had missed together. Though Vicki loved her grandchildren from Kevin, she had never been a part of their lives... of their birth, and being included meant so much to her. Natalie couldn't understand how Kevin and Kelly had brought a child into their lives, but not included Vicki in on any of it. Kelly hadn't even made an effort, except to say "hey, by the way I had a baby, come by the christening". If Todd hadn't put an article and picture in The Banner they might never have known the baby had arrived prematurely.  
  
The only thing that really bothered her was the added stress and worry this might cause for Vicki. Natalie had freaked out when she had asked her mom about the test results because Vicki had found out that she had suffered a minor heart attack. At first, she had wanted to keep it from Natalie and Jess, but there was no way she could keep it a secret forever. They had decided that when Natalie got further along that she would stay at Llanfair to make sure both of them got the care that they needed, but until then it might better if Jess moved back temporarily, which Jess had suggested to Vicki earlier that morning, or until Natalie decided to make the baby's prescience known.  
  
Wiping off the counter she smiled as John walked into the bar.  
  
"Hey, I got your message." John had wanted to get here sooner, but everything seemed to be dragging suddenly. Geez... he never got sick... what in the hell was wrong with him? "Hey you. Are you ok? You don't look so hot!" Natalie felt concern as she took in John's flushed face. John was about to say something when Jess walked up the bar. "Hey guys! Antonio and I stopped on to grab something to eat!"  
  
Natalie tried not to groan, how was a knocked-up girl supposed to drop a bombshell on a sick guy with her sister and her boyfriend hanging around.  
  
"I just got here. Look, Natalie, I thought I could hang out for awhile, but I am starting to think it might not be a good idea , so can we take a rain check on that talk, I think I might be coming down with something... no big deal... I'll call you later. Jess, tell Antonio I'll see him later."  
  
Jess looked from a clearly distracted Natalie to the retreating figure of John's back, "Did I interrupt something?"  
  
"Nah, it was nothing. You want a coke or something?" Natalie's eyes followed John out the door.  
  
"Hey! Can I get a beer?" Paul Kramer looked at Natalie and Jess and he saw dollar signs. Too bad the blonde was taken, but he would more than settle for the red-head. He would have to try and put on the charm if he was going to sink his hooks into her.  
  
"Yea, hey Paul, Jess have you met Paul. He's Kelly's brother." Following around of introductions, Natalie got Paul a beer and tried to make some small talk. It seemed Paul was trying his hardest to flirt with her, and in other circumstances she might have flirted back, but he wasn't her type and she didn't think he was going to find her all too attractive when she was as big as whale.  
  
Antonio ran into John at the door," Hey man, where you headed?"  
  
"I think I am coming down with something... probably just tired... hey, you know that guy over there talking to Natalie? I don't recognize him"  
  
"Not really. Why? Jealous?" Antonio tried to make it a joke, but he could tell he had hit a nerve.  
  
"Jealous, why? Me and Natalie are just friends. There's something about that guy. I walked by him when he was walking in and I just got this weird vibe from him... no big deal." "Well, you go and get some rest... see you tomorrow, man!" Antonio didn't think twice, he made a straight bee line for his girl.  
  
Antonio came up behind Jess and wrapped his arms around her and asked her about her day and about Vicki. Natalie decided that about then would be a great opportunity to take the trash out. Great! She thought, I get the courage to try and get John alone to talk and all hell breaks loose.  
  
Throwing the trash in the dumpster, Natalie grimaced she wouldn't be able to do this much longer. Staying on her feet and carrying this stuff around couldn't be good for her and the baby. No telling what kind of germs a baby could get back here... yuck! Turning around she sighed and rolled her neck, she definitely needed those vitamins to kick in because she felt tired and it was only 6:30 in the evening.  
  
Just then she noticed a body slumped on the ground, it wasn't moving. Walking over her heart leaped up into her throat, "John! Oh my God! John can you hear me?"  
  
Running inside she screamed for Antonio to call an ambulance. It may have been a matter of seconds , but it seemed more like minute after minute went by before both of them stood standing over the unconcious man checking for vitals and waiting for the paramedics to get there. 


	6. Chapter Six A Little Peanut

Chapter Six- A Little Peanut  
  
** Thanks for all of the reviews! I made this an extra long chapter and I decided to scrap the idea I had a make this a TOTAL John and Natalie romance! No crossovers! I hope you like it all the same and keep up the support because I NEED it : ) !~ serendipity  
  
*** For those really "fact" critical people, please be tolerant. The motherhood is still a complete mystery to me so I am doing the best I can.  
  
John woke up and looked around the room. His headache had disappeared and he felt better than he had in weeks. Natalie had finally reached out to him and he now had hope that maybe they could figure out this thing that was between them. More than anything he wanted to be in her life, even if it was just as a friend. Stretching he rolled over and looked at the clock. He had called Bo on the way home and told him that he would be in late this afternoon so he didn't have to be back to work for anther eight hours. He had just enough time to get dressed and meet Natalie for lunch if she would agree.  
  
He sat up and began to look for his phone. He could have sworn he had laid it on the nightstand. Getting up he walked over to the dresser and there it was sitting in plain sight. He must have been more tired than he thought.  
  
Dialing he held his breath, when her voice mail picked up he quickly left a message for her to call him back as soon as she got the message. This time they would talk and they take a step forward instead of three steps back.  
  
Natalie stared down at the phone. John... he must have had an attack of conscience for him to be calling so early in the day. She wanted to dismiss it, but just seeing his name and number on her caller ID made her heart skip a beat.  
  
She and Jess had gotten up early to do some research on heart disease, diets, and exercises that were beneficial to people with heart disease and were sitting in the study at Llanfair browsing through some information on the internet. Vicki had laughed when they had suggested it, saying they were being silly and that her doctor was fine. Jess had mentioned that it was better to be informed and Natalie  
  
"Who was that?" Jess saw the smile on Natalie's face and knew it was John. Only he could make her light up like that. She had definitely been preoccupied all morning.  
  
"Uh, yea... that was John. I just don't feel like talking right now... I mean what we are doing is a priority you know." Natalie knew her sister didn't believe her, but she had to try to make sense of it herself. She knew that even if she and John weren't a couple, even if they never got beyond one crazy night, that they were going to be forever connected and she would owed her child a chance. No one, not that leggy blonde, nor Cristian or Kaitlyn's ghost could change her mind. But, how did you tell a man that didn't want anymore than a one night stand that you were keeping a part of him forever?  
  
"Nat... you there? You are million miles away..."  
  
"Yea, hey look, I have to run some errands and I'll give you a call later... is that ok?" Natalie grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the mall. She may not be ready to tell everyone about the baby, but that didn't mean she didn't need to start preparing for the changes her life was going to go through.  
  
Walking into the bookstore she found the aisle that she was looking for grabbed several books including, "What's to Expect When Expecting" when a book caught her eye. It was the father's version of the same book. On an instinct she picked it up and added it to her collection. If she ever got around to telling John he might appreciate it.  
  
Her first ultrasound was next week and she decided that maybe it would be better to not tell John or anyone until she knew without a doubt that her baby was healthy and that things were going ok. Paying for her books she walked out into the mall and headed toward the exit. Just before she got to the exit she saw a Babies R' Us store and couldn't stop herself from walking in. Walking from aisle to aisle she felt that warm feeling flow through her. She stood staring at these soft, stuffed animal and she just couldn't resist. Picking up the softest, most cuddly bear she walked to the check out and paid for it. Her baby's first toy.  
  
It was at that moment, she knew more than anything she wanted to share this with John. Would he be mad, would he want her to keep their child, would he even care? She needed to know.  
  
Dialing his number she held her breath, "John? Hey it's Natalie. I know you're probably busy, but could you maybe meet me at my place in about an hour? Great! I'll fix lunch or something."  
  
It was one thirty in the afternoon and most normal people had already eaten by now. But then with morning sickness, or all-day sickness as her case seemed to be, sneaking up at every turn she had managed to eat much today, and John was such a work-a-holic that she would bet money that he hadn't eaten all day either.  
  
John sat at Natalie's kitchen table staring at her as she fixed them sandwichs. She seemed nervous, moving on from place to place, chatting about random topics and he had no idea if she had even taken a breath in between sentences. She was kind of cute when she was flustered.  
  
"Hey, Natalie, I know that you are dying to tell me all about the quirks of the human heart, but can you slow down? I think you lost me between yoga and walking everyday."  
  
Natalie stopped what she was doing and sat down across from him. It was now or never because she was about to throw-up and she didn't think her nerves could stand anymore suspense.  
  
"John... I have to tell you something... I am not sure how you are going to take it... maybe you'll freak out and run out of here screaming. Maybe you'll faint... I just..."  
  
"Look, you can tell me anything. I think you know that. I mean, if it's about the other night..."  
  
"John... I am pregnant." Natalie hadn't meant to blurt it out, but that is how it came out and it just was there hanging in between them. The room was so silent that you could hear the clock on the wall ticking.  
  
She watched emotions cross his face and felt her heart sink, he didn't want this baby. She knew it... she knew...  
  
"Oh no..." Jumping up she ran for the bathroom. She didn't even have time to be embarrassed, she barely made it to the toilet before she threw up. Her mom said that this nausea shouldn't last more than 3 months... and she was more than ready for that day to get here. Sprawled in a heap in front of the toilet she rested her head on her arms and prayed that her stomach would settle. It never occurred to her that John would follow her until she felt his hands holding her hair off her neck and rubbing her back. Groaning she lifted her head to meet his eyes.  
  
"Well, I was going to try a more subtle tactic of dropping this bomb shell, but it seems baby wants to make it's prescience known..." Reaching for a towel she wiped her face and carefully stood up.  
  
John didn't know what to say or what to feel. He just stood there and stared at her. This woman was carrying his child, and instead of dread or fear he felt like he was the most powerful man in the world.  
  
Clearing his throat he asked the question that was keeping his emotions in check, "Have you decided what you want to do? I mean, you have options, and I don't want to..."  
  
Natalie felt instantly defensive, "I am keeping my baby! Look, I don't know how you feel about children and to be honest until I found out I wasn't sure how I felt, but I am going to have MY baby..."  
  
"Our baby..." John corrected hesitantly.  
  
"What?" Natalie had been already to give her little speech and she hadn't expected that reaction.  
  
"You mean, OUR baby." John saw the tears fill Natalie's eyes and he pulled her carefully into his arms and held her tight, "Natalie, we may not be in the most normal circumstance for having a baby, but we are. And if you will let me, I want to be a father to our child. I can't lie, I am scared shitless, but if you'll be patient with me I promise I learn, ok."  
  
Natalie was speechless. In a million years, she wouldn't have guessed that John would have this reaction to finding out she was carrying his child. But, silently she thanked God for answering her prayers and made another silent pray that they would be able to get through the next 7 months together without killing each other.  
  
After what felt like an hour John released Natalie and they went into the kitchen and talked. Carefully leaving out their feelings towards each other they talked about everything from Natalie's nausea and weird cravings to vitamins and diapers. They even managed to crack a few jokes about her upcoming weight shift. Both agreed that until after the third month they were going to keep this as quiet as possible. Besides as Natalie was quick to point out, they needed time to figure out what they wanted to do and get used to the idea of becoming parents even though they weren't married.  
  
As John got ready to leave he gave Natalie a hug, "I'll see you at the doctor's office... I told you I WANTED to be there... so get that look of your face. Call if you need anything, ok."  
  
And then if the day hadn't been surprising enough he leaned down and put his hand on Natalie's stomach, "Look kid, I am your daddy and I want you to let you're mom get some rest and she's getting kind of puny so let her eat something, ok."  
  
Standing up he smiled at Natalie in a cute kind of embarrassed way and turned to leave. Natalie wanted to yell at him to stay, to never leave, but she knew that if they were going to have a chance, things couldn't be rushed. And putting her hands on the exact same place John had she smiled, "I think what you're daddy wanted to say was that there is hope after all. What do you think kiddo?"  
  
A WEEK LATER...  
  
Natalie stood pacing the lobby. It wasn't easy in this hospital to go unnoticed and she was really nervous about someone spotting her and John in the Obstetrics Lobby together. He had been so cute this last week, asking all kinds of questions, reading his book, that she had bought for him and making notes in the margins. He even came by Rodi's and made sure she took a break for lunch everyday and even lectured her about staying on her feet and working when she got further along. Normally she would have resented being told what to do, but for once it was kind of nice to have someone looking after her and it made her feel more secure about where he wanted to be in her life.  
  
Just as the nurse called for her to come back John practically ran into the room  
  
"Hey... Sorry I am late. We got a few weird cases today and I was helping Antonio out with some paperwork. Umm... This ultrasound sounds kind of personal, so I figured I would what out here... you might not want me to intrude or anything..."  
  
Natalie looked at the nurse, "How does this work? Can he come in and see the baby too?"  
  
"Sure, father's are welcome once we get you started. You'll be covered up so there's need for your husband to be embarrassed."  
  
Natalie was about to correct the nurses mistake when John gave her hand a quick squeeze and smile, "OK, dear, go ahead I'll be in there soon." And gave her a wink.  
  
"Ok, honey, see you soon!" Natalie could get used to this new side of John he was so relaxed, so calm. It made this much easier for her.  
  
John was a nervous wreck. He had been so afraid that Natalie wouldn't want him to be here, or that something would be wrong with the baby. It had taken every once of strength he had not to let his detective side bust out and hound the nurse with a million questions. Running his hand through his hair, he paced the hallway waiting to be allowed in.  
  
"Ok... you can come in now." John followed the nurse in the room. Natalie was laying nervously on an exam table and she was about three different shade of red. For a minute he didn't realize why she was embarrassed until he saw the doctor sitting between her legs with her hands underneath a sheet.  
  
Natalie started laughing as John's eyes widened and he turned four shades of red.  
  
"Come here..."Natalie waved him over to her side and pointed to the screen, "Our baby is about to make it's big movie debut."  
  
"Now, don't worry if you can't see much this first ultrasound. You are really early still so you won't be able to tell what you are looking at right off the bat." The doctor smiled and Natalie and John stared at one another and then the screen and neither of them realized that they were holding hands.  
  
"And here we go... now... you see this little blob... well, that is your baby. And I would say that everything is looking pretty normal. Now for the heartbeat..."  
  
The quick sound of a little heartbeat filled the room. John couldn't say a word, and for the first time it hit him, he was really going to be a father. This was real and not just a dream. He looked at Natalie who was crying softly and smiling at the screen. When she turned to look at him her eyes soft and full of love and tears, her red hair falling about her shoulders, he knew he was seeing an angel. He couldn't deny it anymore, he loved her, he loved this beautiful, stubborn woman, and she was having his child.  
  
"He looks like a peanut..." Natalie said breaking into laughter and wiping her eyes.  
  
"He? You think it's a boy?" John wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at her with all the love and hope he felt.  
  
"Yeah, he's a boy. Our little peanut is a boy." Natalie didn't know how she knew it, but she felt in her heart that a boy was growing inside her.  
  
"Peanut, huh? You realize that you might be ruining the kid for life if that nickname sticks?" Laughing they smile at each other and stared at the future. Together, in whatever form, both felt love for this tiny little miracle. 


	7. Surprise!

Thanks so much for the reviews! Everyone has been great! I just hope I can keep it up and give you all the story you deserve! Ok- readers- I am getting into uncharted territory, so if I have miscalculated any dates and pregnancy steps please be tolerant... I have been doing some research (and not a lot since I am working)... please just read and enjoy! ~ Serendipity  
  
Chapter Seven- SURPRISE  
  
Natalie sat on her couch reading yet another article on the joys of pregnancy and wondering if she was ever going to feel like her life was even remotely her own.  
  
Between going to the bathroom every five minutes, roller coaster emotions, periodic nausea, and John's constant worrying she felt as if she never had a moment of her own. He was cute when he was fussing about her eating right and resting the first two weeks, but showing up a meal times to watch her eat was going a little too far. This week he had brought veggies and "wholesome" food and had practically fed her. Unfortunately, it was at that time that those wacky emotions had shown up and she has started crying and arguing and she had thrown him and his veggies out the door.  
  
The only thing that had totally made the experience worth it was John wearing the broccoli and carrots. They had ended up laughing until they couldn't stand and had to sit on her front porch. He agreed to lay off a bit and she agreed to keep away from all bowls of food when experiencing a hormonal attack.  
  
Sighing she put down the magazine. It might have been her imagination, but she could swear that her jeans and just about every other pair of pants she owned were getting too tight for her. The plus side was that her boobs had grown a little, and what woman wouldn't have been thrilled about that.  
  
Yesterday the doctor had said everything was progressing wonderfully and she felt in her heart that she needed her sister to going through this with her. John would agree with her, in fact he had thought they should tell their families two weeks ago after reading something about babies and grandparents, who knows what it was actually about. He was so excited he showed up with a little teddy bear dressed like a cop and couldn't wait to buy "peanut" his first little badge.  
  
Picking up the phone she dialed Jess's cell, "Hey Jess? Yeah, it's Nat. No everything is fine. Want to grab some lunch today? Alright...The diner sounds good... 12:30... ok."  
  
Hanging up she went up stairs to get dressed, smiling she knew just what she was going to do and how she was going to drop the news on Jess. While she was in the shower she decided that she better give John a head's up, it Jess knew then it was only a matter of time before Antonio would know... so maybe it would be easier if they all met and she and John did it together.  
  
After throwing on a loose shirt and the last pair of comfortable pants she owned, she picked up the phone and dialed John.  
  
"Hey daddy! No everything's fine... yes I ate breakfast... yes I took my vitamins...JOHN! You're doing it again. That's ok. Look I think you need to grab Antonio and meet Jess and me at the diner. Yeah... it's time. Don't worry I am going to take care of everything... you just get Antonio... see ya!"  
  
Natalie hurried into the dinner, hoping that she hadn't kept everyone waiting. She was glad to see Jess chatting with Carlotta over the counter, so hopefully she would be forgiven for being late.  
  
"Hey Jess! Hi Carlotta! Sorry I am late... I was running some errands and time just slipped away..."  
  
"Oh... that's no problem... come on let's get a seat!" Jess made her way to a both and Natalie felt the excitement building in her... she couldn't wait to break the news.  
  
Sitting down Jess turned and noticed the two bags that Natalie was holding.  
  
"What's that?" She hadn't talked to Natalie in a day or two and so she hoped she had missed something important.  
  
"Oh... these... nothing..." She just smiled and hoped Jess would drop the subject for now because she didn't think she would hold up to many questions.  
  
Luckily Antonio walked up as soon as Jess was about to ask questions.  
  
"Hey Antonio... where's John?" Natalie looked toward the door, but no one was there.  
  
"Oh... he said to say he's running late... Kathryn needed a ride over to Capricorn...so what's up?"  
  
Jess looked from Natalie to Antonio, "John is meeting us here? What's going on... you guys aren't getting married or something..."  
  
"No... hey guys... sorry I am late...Natalie, how are you?" John hadn't meant to sound so brisk when he had answered Jessica's question, but after the day he had he didn't want to get into that yet.  
  
Natalie felt her heart drop at John's adamant denial. She wasn't expecting him to marry her just because she was pregnant, but it hurt to hear him not even hesitate.  
  
When everyone was sitting down Natalie looked over at John, "You ready?"  
  
When he nodded she handed both Antonio and Jess a brightly ribboned bag. "Ok... you guys before I say anything... before you ask questions... please open your surprises..."  
  
The couple looked at each other and opened the bags. What was going on here?  
  
"Oh... oh my..." Jess held up a little teddy bear wearing a bib, and on it were the words "World's Greatest Aunt!" she looked over and Antonio was holding a similar bear with the uncle's version written on it.  
  
Two pairs of shocked eyes shot up and stared at the couple sitting across from them.  
  
"Surprise! We're... pregnant!" John lifted his tea and saluted them with a smile.  
  
A pin could have dropped and heard in the silence. "Are you guys serious? Natalie's pregnant?" It finally it Jess... her sister was going to have a baby.  
  
She jumped up and hustled Antonio out of the both and John got up so Natalie could embrace her sister.  
  
Tears filled Natalie's eyes, "Yep... about 12 weeks... due around November 9th..." Antonio turned to John, "You and I are going to have a talk... very soon. But, for now I guess congratulations are in order..."  
  
The men shared a hearty handshake and Natalie turned and her and John's eyes met. It was official. Well except for his family... but she would let him decide how to tell them.  
  
Everyone sat down and John raised his glass again..."To Natalie and peanut... "  
  
Everyone laughed and Conversation broke out about how the baby became "peanut" and for the first time since she had told John that she was pregnant, Natalie knew that everything would work out... whether they were married or not. 


End file.
